Sigh..one good thing about having an inactive blog is that you can blurt out all your feelings without worrying others might read it. Today is another day I made my boy angry again. Maybe we are too opposites that we have a communication barrier. This is one of the hundreds fights we had. Yes, you are right. ANOTHER fight. I am coming to think that this shall be our weekly routine. How depressing. Will this ever end? Can we ever find a solution to this? Apparently the fights is always because of me. Am i so horrible? I wanted to ask but sure this will be a stupid question to him. Okay, stupid is too strong a word. Silly is more appropriate. I did not intend for our night to end like this but it just happen. I am sorta blur on how this happen! He sure react strongly to whatever I say. Whoa...tension betul.
I am so crapping right here. What to do? I need to find a source of release and writing always makes me feel better. Usually I will write all these private feelings in my diary but ever since i got my *ehem* personal laptop, I fell in love with typing. Haha. I guess this is just an excuse to use my laptop. Anyway, back to my probs. Where was I? Hmm..
Oh yar, if I tell him I am abit blur on the root cause of our argument just now, he sure will feel like killing me. But then, if I don't exactly know the cause, how can i prevent history from repeating itself? But if I do ask, he will be so pissed. Sigh..it is a dilemma. He sure will ask me to think. Crap, this is not easy. Furthermore I am not sure if my 'thinking' is in the right direction. Wanted to call him now but he sure will not pick up my call. Might as well pouring out my heart to my faithful blog.
I was right. I feel much better after typing. I just like to write when I am sad or stress. If I were to write on subjects of the world, I cannot. I ain't a good writer at all and and I am lazy to write. These are my excuses.
I so wanted to talk to you but you will not give me the chance. Saying sorry is not the solution to this. I had apologize too many times till I am ashamed to repeat that to you. Is being with me so stressful? I wanted to curtail my weaknesses but I find myself failing.
Well, thank you for allowing me to crap here. Now I can go to bed peacefully (sort of). If I were to keep all these in my heart, I will get a stroke.
May I have a great day ahead of me which is filled with laughter and happiness. =)
1 comment:
Hey, thought you should know this blog is not actually inactive. I came across it randomly.
But with your guy...ask him to be specific about the problems he sees. And ask him what he thinks you could do on your part to help correct them--and what he is willing to do to help remind you or help you accomplish any such changes.
Hope it helps! Cheer up. There are plenty of men out there, so if things don't work out with this one, you'll have other opportunities.
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