Emo

I was feeling happy in the morning but right now..I am just feeling moody. Maybe I am tired that is why I feel like this. Am also listening to "Need you now" by Lady Antebellum. As I listen to it, I feel even more emo. Yes..while I am listening this..I will be lying if he did not cross my mind. I am suppose to meet him today but I cancelled it. Actually..I really wish to see him. I dunno what happen but right now I am thinking about him and missing him so much. Its one of those days I guess..I keep on having flashbacks. When will this stop? If I continue like this, how am I suppose to move on?

This morning I only told my cousin Ken that I am healing and feeling much better which I really did. I was not lying or faking it. But now..I am down down down. haha. "Jay Sean's "Down" as background music".=p Alright, jokes aside coz Seriousness is coming through. haha. I have no idea why I am being so lame now.

Back to the topic of the hour, the song is playing over and over again. Its as if I cannot get enough of it. I love the lyrics...despicting what I am feeling now (at some point).

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do withoutI just need you nowwoah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)Ooo, baby, I need you now

My favourite part of coz is the one that is highlighted in red. =) For me, memories of you crossing my mind happens all the time. I really need you now and always..

I know I might be hurting someone if the person knows about this. I just cannot help it. Its my emotions. Even though I am really sorry buy I cannot deny what I am feeling. Sigh..

It hurts to not being with you. I miss you and..I wish to see you. To hear your voice. To..be with you..Argh!!! I should not be feeling this nor should I be thinking about this..I am so looking down upon myself..Shame on you Jasmine Yeoh. There is this guy who likes you and wants to be with you. You should give him a chance..not dwelling on the past love.

Ok, I am going crazy. I am actually speaking to myself and giving advice also. Sigh..but I really dunno..I like this guy..nice to be with and fun to talk to but..I just cannot la..I dunno how..I still want 'him' in some ways...omg!!! Jasmine Yeoh is a stupid girl for thinking like this!

Alright..this lunacy ends here. I shall meet Aron and talk to him and hope to be clear headed. I must not allow myself to hurt this new guy for he is so sweet. Honestly..the pain is still here in my heart..I have not healed from the past. What did 'you' did to me that I cannot heal untill now...Sigh..