Startin a Diary

I have been having sleeping problems. Ever since my break up few months back, I have been having difficulty in sleeping. Yes, I do sleep for more than 8 hours at times but then, every night my sleep is accompanied by dreams. All sorts of dreams, could be sweet or some kind of adventure but most of the time, I had nightmares or weird dreams. The kind that left you feeling not so good the moment you are awake. There were even times while I was sleeping and dreaming this horrible dream, I told myself in my dream “I want to wake up. This must be a dream. Why isn’t the alarm clock ringing yet? Get me out from here. Wake up Jasmine!”

See! Can you imagine how terrible it is for me? Sigh..I already am very tired yet I am unable to get the rest I need. It is dreadful. I mentioned this issue to my friends over dinner last Thursday and he suggested that every night before I sleep, I am to write down my thoughts. I shall try that from now. It will be like writing a diary. Remind me of my teen days where I used to keep a diary. I have been meaning to start since last Thursday but unfortunately, every night when I return home, its already past 11pm and I will be TOO exhausted and lazy to type out my thoughts even though there is so much I want to express out.

Well, I shall start out by today.

Yesterday (12th May 2010 Wed) I was actually tired and no plans for the night. Asked my friend Lay Ping if want to hang out (lately me and her have been hanging out quite often. See her few times in a week. This is due to the fact that she is working near my office). At 1st she said she got plans then fine lor. Then I can officially go home and do whatever nonsense I want in my room. Haha. Near to 5pm (my work finish at 5.30pm), she emailed me and said her plan is cancelled and if I want to hang out with her. I told her I am tired but I can hang out with her la. Manatau that girl ar…she replied “ of coz I will be happy if we meet up but if u feel tired, I dun wan u to meet me out of obligation”. Omg..this woman is so…I dunno wat to say. I understand where she is coming from coz..I was the same as her in the past when I was in a relationship and this characteristic of mine never fails to irk my ex to the core. I do not blame him. I will feel annoyed and irritated too. haha.

Anyway..when I am already on my way back home, she called to confirm if we are meeting up and I ask her to meet at Subang Parade. She agree to it (after I persuade her I am not too tired to meet her and also eager for her companionship) and I tell you..I am thankful she called me because yesterday was one of the best nights and I enjoyed it so much. I laugh till my tummy aches and let me tell you this..it has been a long long time since I laugh to this extent. It is a glorious feeling. Made one feel released somehow.

We had salad at TGIF and the waiter who serve us is so cute!! Since I keep on commenting how nice and cute the waiter is (who also has a nice smile), Lay Ping ask me to come to TGIF again just to see him. I jokingly replied we shall visit TGIF in Subang Parade on a weekly basis. haha. This is what I like, which is to joke around or just talk crap and also able to converse serious topics with people. Lay Ping is one of the nicest people to talk to. hehe. I so love her no-nonsense attitude. I also like her diva-ness at times.

We proceed to Coffeebean after dinner to have the carrot cake which LP has been craving for. She had 2 slices of it while I have this Machiato something cake. I cannot remember the name. Its nice but not my type. Will not order it again in future. As we enjoy our yummy desserts, we had serious talk about life, me and relationships. She has said some things to me which are eye-opener to me. Its one of those talk which will get you into reflecting yourself. Me like that. ^__^

I went back home, watch the TVB series and then head to bed.

I know I told myself on Monday that I will pack all the stuff that my ex gave to me in a box and never to see it again. On Monday, I was very determined to do that but due to the fact that I got home at about 12 am that night and the following nights, I was too tired to pack up the stuff. 4 days has passed since then and I feel differently from Monday and that is..the bears and nohohon figure is a part of me. Why force myself to bury it deep in the closet when I love these toys so much? If I cannot even face the gifts and determine to bury it, it will only tell me one thing - I am living in denial. Right now, I do not think by keeping all this gifts away will make me think of him less. Its all in the mindset. So..since I love it, I shall still keep the small bear in my car (which is also my travelling companion) and the big bear who is so cuddly. =)

Today (13th May 2010), I went out with my ex-Digi colleague Sim Sim and we had dinner in Tropicana City Mall. Then I bought a few DVDs like " Have you heard about the Morgans", "Valentine's Day", "He is just not that into you", "Bounty Hunter" and "The back-up Plan". Yes, I know my selections are romantic comedies. Me feel like watching romantic films.

Ok, I shall stop here because I want to watch the dvd which I just bought. Which movie shall I pick? Hmm..tough choice.