Slightly disappointed

The whole family went on a vacation to Maxwell Hill in Taiping except me. Father only informed me on Friday, a day before the trip. They are going with a few other families. Their children are about my brother's age so I did not join because I will feel left out. I already know that because I had experienced it last year when we went to Taman Negara. It is fun to hang out with them but I am the odd one. The one next to my age is only 15 years old at that time. I cannot possibly join the men nor the women. They are uncles and aunties. Their topic does not click with mine. Haha.

From that time onwards, my father know that I will not join them so he did not invite me to go too. Anyway, these 2 days I have been home alone. The house has never feel much more emptier than now. It is so dead. I am not really scared, its more like lonely to be in my home. I wish they will be home soon.

Luckily yesterday my boyfriend accompany me the whole day and night. We went to The Curve and walk around. Had Dragon-I for dinner. Then walk around the flea market. I love it! I had spend almost RM 100 there. I bought a belt (RM30), 6 pairs of earrings (RM20), flower hair clips and pins (RM45) and 2 snowflake shape keychain (RM 20)-1 is for me and the other is a gift for my friend. She loves snowflakes like me. =)

See!! It is just so easy to spend money but earning it? Man..it is hard-earned money. Yeap, after stepping into the working world, I finally have a taste of the fact that money is not easily and happily earned. Yes, I am depressed about work but..I just gotta bear with it. Go with the flow. Sigh..tomorrow gotta work again. How come the weekends past by so fast?

Anyway, the main reason I am blogging now is because I am sad over the fact that I will not be celebrating New Year's Eve with my boyfriend. Last year, he went out with his friends and later that he got work to do (both of us were working as customer service so our shifts are based on 24-hr and his work time on 1 Jan 2009 is 2am-11am. Crazy right?). That was the reason why we did not spend the New Year's Eve together. But I was very hurt at that time because he got time to spend it with his friends but don't have the time to spend it with me. I did asked him before that day if he is free so we can celebrate it together. I cannot really remember the reason he gave. I think it was he gotta work. Imagine how hurt I was when I found out later he will be going out with his friends on that night. It is like he is TOO busy for me but for friends, he is FREE. Sigh. Not only hurt, I feel disappointment too. It is our FIRST New Year's Eve. How can he do that to me?

Well, later that we argued over this and he blamed me for not being understanding. He said that I am so selfish for not allowing him to spend it with his friends. Wow~ he can 'hentam' back at me just like that. I must admit that I was obviously pissed off but what can I do? Even my father knew how upset I was. He was angry that my boyfriend choose to be with friends over me. Of course, I tried to defend him but inside my heart was breaking. Haha..I know, I am being very dramatic and over right? =p

Well, this year I thought that we can finally spend it together since we had switched jobs with normal working hours. I gotten a blow from him yesterday. Apparently he will be going to Genting Highlands with his family for few days during New Year's Eve. Sigh. I am not complaining. It is great that he is spending time with his family but I am left out again. I asked if it is OK for me to join him. He said it is not coz his uncles and aunties are the ones organizing it so there will NOT be room for me and it will be WEIRD if I join. =( He is right. So it means I am left all alone again. Last year I was alone and this year I..choose not to be.

Am I wrong to feel abandoned? First by his friends, now is by his family. I know I should not be so selfish, but should be more understanding. T-T Hopefully next year we can spend it together. But I will not get my hopes up. I have learn that the more you hope, he more disappointed you will be.

I do want to tell him my feelings towards this but knowing him, he will get the impression that I am complaining about him not spending enough time together, that he cannot live up to my expectations, that I cannot be understanding on the fact that he wants to spend time with his family, that it is just a day only so why make a big fuss out of it and blah blah blah..

Big sigh..I am feeling slightly better after letting it out all here. I am so mad coz this made me feel like I am hardly anything to him. =(

Rainy Tuesday

Everyday is also raining. I love rainy days but too bad I gotta work so no chance to enjoy it. Today is sort of OK. As usual, I kena lecture by my boss. Sigh. What is new? Anyway, the day started so-so. Not very busy. Then 12.30pm arrives. Went to have wan tan mee with colleagues. Things picked up after lunch. Gotten busy with tasks. Then in a blink of an eye, 3.30 pm came and have a meeting to attend. Boring~

By 5.30pm, I rushed over to attend an interview. I don't think it goes well but nevertheless, it does motivates me to continue looking for other job. I know I will find it. To tell the truth, I really feel like quitting now and then the whole of Dec and Jan I can get to enjoy myself and spend some quality time with myself. I want to use this time to find the old Jojo that is missing. This Jojo is always so moody, depressed and hot-tempered. Hmm..during this time I will relax at home, search for new jobs. If cannot find then I will work as part time. Or maybe..I will travel. Hmm..Going somewhere alone is not a bad idea. Let's see..where shall I go? Sabah? Sarawak?

Anyways, this girl has got to get some rest. Good nite and may tomorrow be a better day. =)

Sunday afternoon with old pals

Today I am very happy to meet up with an old pal who I have not seen for almost 2 years. May I present...Syafique Shuib! I believe the last time I saw him was dated back in July 2007? I cannot recall the exact month but it was roughly there.

Sadly to say, I lost contact with him ever since he graduated from Monash in 2007.Ocassionally we messaged each other but rarely.I dunno how but recently we started chattin through msn. It was great to have a friend to chat through during work. Espcially when you are feeling depress over the work, there is someone to talk to. I don't like my job. I sux at it, not to mention I have lose interest in doing the daily tasks. Sigh..anyways, I don't want to talk more about my work coz it weights me down. Back to the topic, Syaf always say I am busy dating and other stuff and no time to meet up so I ask him out for a Sunday lunch. At first decide to meet in 1 Utama, then changed of location to Subang Parade and finally decided to settle for Sunway Pyramid. These 3 places are fine with me. I am not the one objecting to 1 U or Parade, it was Zeck's idea. Haha.

So here it is, meeting Syaf and Zeck at 1 pm in Pyramid. I was the last to arrive (I feel embarrased for not being punctual). Deciding where to eat wasn't difficult. These trio settle for Zeck's idea of having the delicious yet satisfying meal. Me and Syaf have our maiden Popeye's meal. Woo-hoo! I always wanted to try it out because the name 'Popeye's' catches my attention. Yay! I finally got the chance to have a taste of it. Yum yum~

The food was so-so. Not as great as I thought but not too bad. I had fish burger (RM8.40 ). The price..I would say is about the same as McD but I would definitely go back for 2nd try for the 2nd time I will go for Chicken Tenders (which Syaf ordered and it looks kinda yummy). ^-^

It feels so good to see both of them, especially Syaf for it really has been ages since we last met and I do miss him. I keep in touch with Zeck occasionally that is why I only express my excitedness regarding meeting Syaf and not Zeck.=p

There are so many stories to be shared. They have an exciting live and me have a boring mundane life. As usual I am teased endlessly by these 2 charming and fun guys. I have no idea why they cannot stop picking on me? Could it be face problem or because it is their way of showing their love? Haha. No matter what the reason is, I don't mind coz it brings joy to me. It reminds me of the time when we were all in Monash. Ah....the good old days. I miss my uni years alot. Nevertheless, I would not want return back in time for I want to work and earn money. I may be unhappy all the time with my current job but that doesn't matter. I know I will find another job which I will be happy to work in. However, I hope Syaf will intro me into the company he is working in for his work sounds very interesting and it is for a good cause. I support 1 Malaysia and I don't agree it is a political propoganda. It is an propoganda, just not politically to me. I do wish Malaysians can be united and let go of racial criticism. It is not an easy goal to achieve but it will happen. =) I have faith it will..just that it might be during my children's time. Haha.

Yikes! It is already 11.30 pm. I gotta hit the sack. I need all the rest I can get. Sigh..here's a depressing thought- Tomorrow I gotta work again. Drive to the office. See my boss. Look at the piles of workload. =(