Saturday

Actually today I am supposed to work half day at work but I messaged my boss in teh morning for I was not feeling well. I tool EL for the very first time. I feel bad but I was not in a good condition as I need the rest I can get. Sigh..these 2 weeks I can hardly sleep. I cannot stop thinking about him. I know..I scold myself for being so pathetic but love is totally blind.


Every Saturday is our day. We will hang out and chill together on this day. How I longed for you to call me. I do wish to see you badly. But as each day passes..I fear that I will lose you. =( I miss you so much. So many memories flashed through my mind. All the happy times we had.

Dreaming

Today is public holiday. I am happy because finally you can have the time to rest. I duno if I guess correctly but this whole month has been stressful and tiring for you. Finally you are able to sleep in late and lazy around.

This morning, I dreamt of u. We met up and you told me that you still care for me and long to be with me. I was so happy. We hugged and kissed. Then I opened my eyes. I look around the surroundings and realized that it was just a dream. I was crushed for it felt so real. I was praying it to be real too. =( I miss you so much. It has been 2 weeks since we last talk in peace. My heart aches so much. I wish you will forgive me and come back to me. I wish I know what is on your mind.

I wanted to call or message you desperately but I hold back. You told me that you need time and I will give it to you. I will not contact you in any way possible. It is really difficult. It seems like I have lost touch of you. I crave to hear how ur days were, what you have been doing and everything about you. How I wish I can turn back the clock to the time when we are still together.

How are you my dear? I called your sister and she told me that you are happy with your life as it is. I do feel crushed for this means that you are able to pull me out from your heart completely. But..as long as you are happy, then it should be good enough for me. Loving someone does not mean you have to be with that someone. As long as he/she is happy, you will be happy too. That is the most important thing. This is what I said to myself repeatedly.

I know that I have done and said things which hurts you over and over again. But I do hope that I can be given another chance to make things right again. We have been seperated for 2 weeks. This is the longest period that you are mad at me. I am so scared that during this cool off period, you will tell me that you dont love me any longer. That you do not want to spend the rest of your days with me any longer. Or worst, that you have found someone else. But no matter what, I will support your decision even if it will break my heart into million pieces.

Life without you is really miserable and meaningless. I longed for your call or message each day. I will be so happy just as long as I can receive any news from you. I miss the bears that you gave to me. I hope you are taking good care of them instead of dumping them aside.

These 2 weeks has gotta be the longest and most miserable weeks in my entire life..There were days where I wish I can continue sleeping so at least in dreams I can still see you. I must say also that because of this separation, I have reflect so much upon myself. I see the wrongs and causes which leads to this stage. I do not blame you for anything. I have taken our relationship for granted all along. I am so sorry. However, I will wait for you. I will wait till you are ready to talk to me. I long to hear ur voice again. To feel your hugs. Even if we are not able to be a couple, I would wish us to remain a friendship.