Shady Sunday

Initial title for this entry is Sad Sunday but I think it is kinda too negative hence the current title. 

This weekend was supposed to be a good weekend for me but...it did not turn out exactly how I planned. It was more of a crying and emotional weekend for me. I had a slight migraine but thankfully with some medication it went away, if not my Sunday will be completely ruined. 

Now why did i said it is an emotional weekend for me is because, as you can surely guess by now, my boyfriend. Who else can cause me tears and heartaches? 

Some may call me a drama person but believe me, in this case I was not being dramatic at all. It is all the build up frustration in me that accumulated over time and in the end just burst out. No matter how many times I tried telling my boyfriend the reason of my anger, frustrations, sadness, disappointments and anything emotional feelings, he just does not get it. I can be repeating the same explanation 5 times straight at his face for the past 30 mins but still it will not penetrate into his skull. After 1.4 years of being together, I thought that at least he would have learn something or picked up some 'how-to-solve-girlfriend-issues-when-she-is-sad-or-angry' but no, apparently he does NOT! Could he really be that dense? I know I was mean to call him stupid at some point of time due to the build up frustrations but he is totally asking for it. 

How can he not have learnt the minds of a female, at least this one particular female? Tell me what should I do? I am so tired. This relationship is draining me out and it is making me so unhappy....Sigh... In a way it is good the boyfriend is so far away. This gives us a good time to separate from each other and cool off. I need this time to think things through. To think if he is truly who I want. 

The Beauty and the Beast musical weekend in Singapore

It is 10.30pm on a Sunday. How time flies. Monday Blues will hit over me in less than 10 hours. Why oh why does weekend passes by so quickly. If only I can turn back time. If I can, I want to repeat my Saturday all over again because I want to fly down to Singapore, have my brunch in Ronin, watch Beauty and the Beast broadway musical and walk around Marina Bay Sands all over again. This day is like the best day of my life. 

I have never done something as exciting as this before. Flying to another country for a musical or event and also only spend a day there without staying overnight. It feels good to do something out of the blue and it makes me wish I am earning more. I want to do more with my life. I want to work in a place where currency is higher. Did you know I bought  a pair of the Crocs sandals which I always wanted (different color but still colorful) and it is only $79.90 in Marina Bay Sands. Imagine I am earning in SGD, it is only 80! Then i bought a pair of Victoria Secret sunglasses which I have been wanting and it is $82. It feels so affordable. I want to work in Singapore!!! I am shuddering now as I am converting the $$ i spent there into MYR. I used my credit card and I think the conversion rate is almost MYR 3. CRAZY to the max. Now i feel depressed as i think about it. :/

I want to get a job in Singapore. Do you think I can achieve it? What can I work as over there I wonder... 

2nd of April 2015- A Thursday night

I am currently seated in level 6 of Menara Star aka Aron's department. In another 16 mins it will be 10pm. I am typing this out in my new HOT PINK hp latop (which I bought 2 days before GST) and using the brand new blue and yellow mouse I bought like only an hour ago. *wide grin* 

I am SO IN LOVE with these 2 items. Oh ya, I bought a portable mini table for my laptop in Digital Mall Seksyen 14. I need that so I can place it on my bed and use my laptop or ipad on bed. Is it not better this way? But the price is so expensive - RM 85. The mouse ain't that cheap either. It cost me RM 79 but the brand is logitech so it is supposedly to be better and worth it. 

Tomorrow is my interview with Huawei and I am nervous about it. I really hope I get that job. I really want it. The position is Social Media Executive. Yes, it is only an executive post but it is something I have always wanted to try. I need to start from somewhere and this is my starting point in leaving the Sales line. No more begging people to advertise, sponsor or selling products to buyers. I want to try Marketing or Branding. Please God, let me have the job. I really want it. Not because I want to escape from my current job, but because I want to grow. I want to learn more things. I want to explore other options. I want to improve myself and be a better me. I want to change my life for the better. 

Star is a good company. I love it here. I love the familiarity, some of the people and I am ok with the working culture here except Advertising department of course. Circulation is fun but I am getting bored of being in the Education Sales team. As I was feeling that, a new boss took over the division and implemented so many changes thus causing unhappiness and negativity among the team. I admit I was pretty down about it but I was not like so down and unhappy like the rest of the team. I was down because I felt so loss and stifled. The new boss is such a control freak and always spot check on us. He instilled fear among us. I was feeling more annoyed towards him then fear. Why must he treat us this way? Shoving his power into our face, into our mind, into our souls. It is not fair. We are not his loyal subjects ok. We are just his colleagues who reports to him. He does not own us and he must understand this. What rubbish he is to reject our leaves just because we are unable to hit targets. I just feel it is unreasonable. He should be treating us good to gain our trust and faith. But no, he must go and screw our brains out. I hope things will work out for the better and that does not mean i will not try hard in the Sponsorship team. I will. I want to get sponsors in. I want to prove that I have the potential.

All these changes leads me to reflect about myself. About my life. I want to change to be a better me. I want to explore and uncover my boundaries. Discovering the potential in me that I have never realized but know I am capable of (this sentence better not let daddy knows about it because I am very sure he will just give some very unmotivated comment and ask me to face the reality. haha). The last straw is the fact that Wan Ying got promoted to Assistant Manager, Stella promoted to Senior Executive and Shalini is promoted to be a Senior too. Pei Wen finally being promoted either. Congrats to her and I am indeed happy for her. After all these years working in this company, she is finally a Senior Exec. But...that leaves me. Where am I? I am still an exec only after all these years. I feel as though I am so useless and so unworthy. But Aron made me realized that it is not my fault. It is not because I am not capable of great things. I am just in the wrong field doing the wrong thing. It is time to move on for me. I need to plan on my career path (whatever that may be). I can achieve great things in life if only I reach out to the potential in me. I know I can. I have faith that I can. Hence..it is time to look out for a new job. I will miss Wan Ying and company but..I need to get out from Star. What can i get from here? I am now doing Sponsorship already, my new job role under Henry and reports to Fabian. I did not sign up for this and yes I may be adaptable to change but..no consent from me was given for this change. It just happened like that. This is not fair at all. 

Wan Ying is lucky is she not. She is smart and capable and so much luck on her side. That is why she is able to climb up the corporate ladder in such a short time. I will not be able to achieve all these here. I am sure Wan Ying will be sad that I am no longer here working in the same company as her. I will too but...I am just an exec now and she is a already a manager. I need to make something of myself. She is earning more than me and doing things better than me. I am not jealous. It just made me realized it is time to step out and move on. 

Good luck to me. :)